• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to footer
Subscribe for Email Updates

Enter your email below to receive updates from Your Positivity Coach.

Your Positivity Coach
  • Blog
  • Exclusive Access
  • About

Blog

What is the Meaning of Life?

June 10, 2020 by Tom Davis

One of the most important questions we will ever answer is, “What is the Meaning of Life?” Not just life in general, but my life, your life. Why are we here? And why does it matter anyway? 

Before I can tell my life what I want to do with it, I need to listen to my life to tell me who I am.” ~ Parker J. Palmer

I will not pretend to think I can answer that question in a short blog, but if that question is burning in you, here’s the question you need to focus on answering, “What is the purpose of my life?” This is the first step to find your meaning. Not the other way around. 

Your purpose is an intersection of three things: 

1. What you are naturally good at – or your talents.

2. Your affections or your passions – what you love to do.

3. Finding your gifts in Flow – discovering what you do when you feel the most fulfilled without any concern of what title you have, what business you own or how much money you make. This is what you do when you are “purely you” without the labels, messages, or values that we, or others, place on us. It’s also connected to how you serve others in ways that bring hope, love, and value into the world. 

Knowing and understanding your purpose helps guide you into a prosperous future. It also makes the relationships around you deeper. You laugh louder and you love better. You will have a clearer idea about what to focus on in life and where to invest your time. In turn, this brings a tremendous amount of meaning to your life and – step by step – you gain more understanding about the meaning of life.    

Positive Psychology focuses on the elements people need in life to flourish – or to be their very best. One of the key factors in positive psychology is something called, “Well-being Theory,” which is the scientific theory of happiness. One of the 5 building blocks is Meaning. Meaning is defined in someone’s life by 3 things:  

• A well-lived life. When you have a sense of purpose, it helps you clarify meaning and you live with increased life satisfaction and better health.    

• Resilience. Meaning and purpose help you to bounce back after crisis or difficulty. This is particularly helpful after COVID-19. You are better able to overcome challenges and greatly increase your personal growth after facing adversity.

• The work you choose is done with more interest and increased engagement. Why? Because you feel like you are about something bigger than yourself. You have more meaning because there is a greater purpose.  I have a simple 4 step process that I would like to provide to you at no cost. This process will walk you through how to create a transformational life purpose statement. If you would like a copy please email me, Dr. Tom Davis – tom@leaderselevate.com

Filed Under: Purpose, Uncategorized Tagged With: Meaning, purpose

5 Reasons Clarifying Your Values Brings Hope In Crisis

April 8, 2020 by Tom Davis

The least of things with a meaning is worth more in life than the greatest of things without it. ~ Carl Jung

Whether you are a coach, a parent, a CEO, an entrepreneur, or a young person searching for direction; getting clear on what matters most will help you thrive.

Values are the reason we wake up in the morning. It’s why we work, why we play, and what we dream about. Our core values contain the most important words in our lives. In the end, these are the words we want to be remembered by. They are why we do what we do and they provide direction for every major decision we make.

According to The Leadership Challenge, our values are our voice. If we don’t know our voice, neither will anyone else and we lose credibility. Our identity will be wobbly. We won’t know what to stand for in life and when times are difficult, we will lose our way.

There are 5 Life-Changing reasons you should know your values:

#1. If you don’t know your values, purpose will elude you

In his book, Start with Why, Simon Sinek popularized the idea that people don’t care about what you do, they care about why you do it. I take that a step further and say, “You don’t care about what you do, you care about why you do it.”

It’s not the job that motivates us. It’s not even the money. It’s why we are doing it. Knowing personal values brings meaning and significance to who we are. It clarifies our core purpose in what we are doing with our lives.

For example, if you believe in and value “equality” you will hear an alarm go off when someone makes fun of someone else or treats them poorly. Why? Because their behavior has stepped over the line of something you strongly believe in. When you are clear on this value, you now know why you must speak up. It isn’t random. Values strengthen your backbone.

#2 If you don’t know your values, you don’t know how to make top decisions.

Here is a proven leadership principle: “Every time you say yes to one thing, you are saying no to another.” The sad fact is that because most people aren’t clear about what is most important to them, they often say yes to the wrong things.

There is an important study by researcher David Creswell who discovered that college students experiencing high stress were better at reducing stress and solving problems while under time pressure if they wrote down a sentence or two about their most important values. When students were clear about their values, they were able to make better decisions, but it also proved to be a protective factor against the harmful effects of excessive stress. We can all benefit from less stress!

#3 Living your values creates a values-driven life. You get what you invest in.

Values are used as a tool that helps us navigate life. If we are consistently thinking about our values and how to live into them more – we will create a values driven live. But for many people that doesn’t happen. I was one of those people. I had a vague sense but I was scattered and unclear.

A number of years ago as a CEO of an international non-profit organization I found myself in a place of stress, anxiety and frankly not enjoying the work I use to be so passionate about. What had happened to me?

Without realizing it, my work was creating a values collision.

You see, I was traveling 200 days a year and I was violating a core value. A value I knew I had but I unwittingly put on the back-burner. This was unsustainable.

The anxiety caught up with me big time.

FAMILY is one of my core values and I was violating that value as I was out ‘saving the world’. I was doing really good and important work but mostly ignoring the needs of my family. That’s hard to admit but it is true.

Becoming clear about my values also helped me to create alignment and integrity in my life. It helped me to close the gap between who I said I wanted to be, (the image I projected to the world) and who I really am.

I imperfectly but faithfully made the necessary changes to focus on the most important things, and my life has been filled with more peace, meaning and significance.

#4 Values create resilience so you have the willpower to follow through on your goals.

Resilience is the ability to bounce back after adversity. When times are hard, or when people experience failure, the higher their level of resilience, the faster they are able to recover. In the middle of COVID-19, leaders who are more resilient will get back on their feet faster and create more success than those who are less resilient. Our values help cultivate resilience because we are clear about what matters.

What research has shown is that when we are consciously connected with our most important, heartfelt values, it can be a buffer from psychological stress. Conscious awareness of our values can keep our brain from producing overwhelming amounts of cortisol – the stress hormone that keeps us from being able to think clearly.

#5 Clarifying Values helps you create a VISION that changes the direction of your life.

According to Jim Kouzes and Barry Posner, less than 3% of executive leaders spend their time focusing on vision. I have coached thousands of leaders around the world and all of them would agree that having a vision for their life is one of the most important things you will ever create.

Yet almost NONE of them can produce a personal vision.

Vision gives clarity for where you are going in the future and this helps you know what to focus on in the present. It helps us know what REALLY matters.

Values tell us why we care about vision in the first place. However, lack of vision keeps us living a life filled with busyness, but not fulfillment and prevents us from achieving meaningful success and significance.

Pete Carroll in his autobiography, Win Forever, says;

“Personally, I have learned that if you create a vision for yourself and stick with it, you can make amazing things happen in your life. My experience is that once you have done the work to create the clear vision, it is the discipline and effort to maintain that vision that can make it all come true. The two go hand in hand. The moment you’ve created that vision, you’re on your way, but it’s the diligence with which you stick to that vision that allows you to get there.”

Knowing and living our personal values is a game changer. It helps us hold our heads high and walk through life with confidence knowing who we and this clarity directs our goals and visions. The clear understanding of our values sets us free from aimlessness and empowers us to live the kind of life we are uniquely meant to live and in turn, fulfill our purpose.

Filed Under: Values Tagged With: crisis, encouragement, family, hope, Meaning, Positive Emotions, purpose, values, Vision

30 Life-Altering Things Positivity Can Do For You

August 4, 2017 by Tom Davis

As a coach to Executives and CEO’s I’m often asked this question, “What’s the one thing I can do to immediately get better results in my life?” The answer is to increase your levels of positivity. Positive people, “flourish,” while negative people, “flounder.”

The research is filled with incredible results that occur almost instantaneously. One of the best is called, The Broaden and Build Theory of Positive Emotions and you can see it here. It’s maintaining a positive mindset that’s the harder work. That takes life change and learning to build better habits.

3-1 RATIO

It’s maintaining a positive mindset that’s the harder work. That takes life change and learning to build better habits. Studies have shown that it takes 3 positive inputs to replace 1 negative one. Unless you’re married then it takes 6 positives to 1 negative! 🙂

Positivity isn’t just about being happy. It’s about building incredible people skills, focusing on the life-events that really matter to you, learning to enjoy meaningful daily events, and creating real value in your life. Most of this research comes from the books, Positivity by Barbara Fredrickson, Flourish by Martin Seligman, and Grit by Angela Duckworth,

  1. Opens your mind
  2. Builds deeper relationships
  3. Encourages creativity
  4. You live longer
  5. Releases Joy
  6. Creates Openness
  7. Causes you to be more thoughtful
  8. Brings peace
  9. Cultivates gratitude
  10. Makes you resilient
  11. Helps you grow
  12. Promotes a healthy self-image
  13. Helps you to be more connected to your friends and family
  14. Increases trust
  15. Promotes physical health
  16. Helps you achieve your goals
  17. Causes you to dream more
  18. Invigorates Hope
  19. Develops stronger relationships at work
  20. Helps you get promotions faster
  21. Makes you a better athlete
  22. Recharges your energy and vitality
  23. Frees you from the effects of depression
  24. Makes people want to be around you more often
  25. Reduces stress
  26. Eliminates anxiety
  27. Helps the vision you have for your life become clearer
  28. Become a wiser person
  29. Helps you break bad habits
  30. You will enjoy every minute, of every day, with deeper appreciation

Filed Under: Positive Emotions, Positivity, Positivity Course, Uncategorized

How To Escape the Trap of Survival Mode

February 22, 2017 by Tom Davis

If you learn this one simple truth, you will move from Survival mode to “Thrival” mode. Survival mode will be something in your past, not your present or your future. You can finally start living your life the way you’ve always wanted but just didn’t have the tools to change. The secret to changing from Survival mode to “Thrival” mode is found in understanding your brain and the incredible power of small decisions. 

What Is Survival Mode?

For most of my life I’ve lived in survival mode and I never understood why. I felt like most people were against me and not for me. The only time they were for me is when they wanted something from me. And inevitably, someone would screw me over and my greatest fears would be confirmed. Then, the cycle would repeat itself.

Relationships weren’t the only areas where survival mode flourished. I was in survival mode in my job, with investments, and with my wife and children. I feared there wouldn’t be enough money to pay the bills, not enough time to spend together, at the end of the day I didn’t do enough to get my work done. There was never enough. I was always short-changed. In fact, if I was honest, I felt like I wasn’t enough and might never be.

BUT WHY WAS THIS HAPPENING?!

I finally discovered the truth: Our brains aren’t built to help us be happy or fulfilled, they are built to help us SURVIVE. That skill may work great for a hunter-gatherer, but it wasn’t helping me in the here and now.

The Two Parts of Your Brain

There are two parts to your brain: First, is the flight or fight response. The second is the part of the brain which understands how to help you THRIVE. It happens when you feel love, joy, connection, inspiration, hope, peace, or wonder.

No one enjoys feeling angry, stressed, frustrated, self-pity, fear, and a host of other negative emotions. But we’ve all learned to live with them. In fact, we’ve lived with them so long that when negativity isn’t a part of our lives, we feel like something is wrong. So, we go right back into flight or flight mode and the cycle continues creating more fear, stress, and anxiety.

Whenever we feel any kind of pain or emotional distress – whether it’s self-pity, for example, or guilt, or shame – we’re thrown, operationally, into a state of survival mode according to a Psychology Today article.

“Most people live this way since it’s the path of least resistance. They make unconscious decisions, based on habit and conditioning, and are at the mercy of their own minds. They assume that it’s just an inevitable part of life to get frustrated, stressed, sad, and angry—in other words, to live in a suffering state.” – Tony Robbins

So how do we CHANGE?

It’s time to kick Survival Mode out of 0ur lives and it comes down to taking control and making 4 different decisions:

  1. Commit that you will choose to be happy no matter what happens to you. This means that no matter the circumstance, you will choose to find the good in it. You will change your focus from fear and suffering to hope and prosperity. This means you will commit to enjoying life even when things don’t go your way. You have to become a master of spinning negativity into positivity.
  1. Fill your life with POSITIVITY not negativity. This has been a huge game changer for me. Did you know that 80% of the information you take in everyday is negative? This fuels the survival mode of your brain. It tells you there is a threat around every corner. There’s suspicion in every relationship and conspiracy in every decision you don’t like. DON’T GIVE NEGATIVITY POWER. Make a commitment to not let any negativity into your brain. Inevitably some will sneak in, but being vigilant and focused on positivity with immediately change how you feel and how you see the world.
  1. Make a MASSIVE investment in yourself. Start living a proactive life focused on being happy, positive, and the best version of yourself. Buy motivating books, enroll in an inspiring leadership course, get into a mastermind group. Set your focus on learning and growing in the areas that help you move to a place of health. Don’t settle for being a reactive, passive, negative human being. You have every resource within yourself to begin making change now.
  1. Remove yourself from toxic people and toxic environments. Sometimes we just need to learn how to put an end to things in our life that need to die. Reduce or eliminate your time from people that make you feel worse when you’re around them. If your stuck in a rut, you may need to make a massive change. Move across town, change the city you live in, or find different social circles.

Survival mode is only a temporary way of life. You arrived there because of specific decisions you have made that got you there and kept you there.

Thrival mode is about creating a thriving lifestyle filled with the positive things you want in life. They don’t come by accident, they come by intentions. As you begin to implement these simple changes, life moves out of the black and white into a beautiful explosion of color that changes who you are and what you see.

“Drop all the doubt, worry, stress, and anxiety that has been causing you to lose sleep at night. Decide to life your life looking forward, no backwards.” ~ Les Brown

Filed Under: Coaching, Gratitude, Habits, Leadership, Negativity, Positive Emotions, Positivity, Positivity Course, Rewire Your Brain, Uncategorized

How 2017 Can Be the Greatest Year of Your Life

January 18, 2017 by Tom Davis

The thrill of the Holidays are over. New Years resolutions have come and gone. The lure of the “new” is beginning to fade. You’re already failing in your new year commitments and 2017 isn’t turning out like you hoped. Is there anything you can do to change that really works? I have good news for you – the answer is an absolute, YES! This is how to make 2017 the greatest year of your life. Man posing in front of beautiful sunrise by the medieval house in rural countryside of Slovenia

I have failed at resolutions and goal-setting so many times it hurts. In fact, 92% of people who set goals do not achieve them. So don’t feel too bad.

But after years of studying human performance and personal change, I’ve finally found what works and it’s simple for you to implement.

3 Simple Things to Create Change in 2017

  1. You Must Have a Compelling Vision.

Many people think that a dream or a goal is good enough to accomplish what they want. But if that’s all you do, you will likely fail like the 92%. It’s not strong enough to keep you focused.

To help you succeed like the top 8%, you must have a vision. A vision is a compelling picture of the future. It’s what you will do, who you will be and what must happen in your life. It’s not up for negotiation. For a deeper dive on how to create a vision statement, read this article on How to Discover Your Vision.

People fail because they aren’t clear enough with their personal vision. If you are vague regarding your vision, everything else in your life will seem vague. The clearer your vision is, the greater the opportunity to accomplish it.

If you don’t believe you have the ability to take responsibility and create the world you want to live in, the world will create you in its image. A vision helps you be the victor of change not the victim.

2. Systems not Goals

Goals are important, but alone, they fail 92% of the time.

A goal is, “I want to run a marathon.” The system is to run 1 mile 5x a week the first week, 2 miles 5x the second week, 4 miles 5x the third week etc. You build the system to achieve your goal.  [Read more…] about How 2017 Can Be the Greatest Year of Your Life

Filed Under: Adventure, Coaching, Habits, Positivity Course, Rewire Your Brain, Uncategorized, Vision

How To Discover Your Vision

December 7, 2016 by Tom Davis

Clarifying your vision is one of the most powerful ways to bring immediate change to your life. But many people struggle to discover their vision. Follow this simple roadmap and you will be on your way to creating and living a vision focused on the most important things to you on the planet. photo_beauty_sky_parachute

When you live by your vision, everything changes. But without a vision, you’ll be stuck in the mire of boredom and mediocrity. Hope will dwindle, work will be monotonous, and relationships will be shallow. Don’t let that happen to you.

Creating Vision – Where to Start

The reason so few people live out of their vision is because they don’t know where to start. Vision begins with dreaming. Not ‘pie in the sky’ dreaming like, “I want 100 Ferrari’s and 10 vacation houses.” Things do nothing to motivate people to live their lives.

A real dream is about living for something that’s bigger than yourself. It’s your life’s purpose, your mission, the reason you were created. How are you going to change the world? What kind of legacy will you leave? What impact do you want to make in the lives of others?

I’m also a firm believer that discovering, and living your vision is a Spiritual Experience. What do I mean? There is something very special hidden inside your vision and when you discover this treasure, it changes you forever. That treasure is the reason you were created and put on this earth.

“Vision is the art of seeing things invisible.” – Jonathan Swift

All Your Life You’ve Been Fighting Yourself

Here’s a scary reality: when you are not clear on your vision you are living against yourself. You’re living in opposition to who you really are and what you’re supposed to be doing with your one and only amazing life!

The truth is that you are here for a reason. You are created with intention and unique gifts to share with the people around you. Discovering who you are and what you’re supposed to be doing is the most important thing you will ever do.

Now, don’t get overwhelmed. If you don’t discover your complete life purpose through this process, don’t sweat it. We live out our vision in phases and if you are only able to see a small part of your vision now, that’s perfectly fine. Live that piece with all your heart and more vision will come with time. What’s most important is to go through this process of discovery and start living for whatever vision you grab ahold of. The rest will come.

The 2 most common obstacles I see people trip over as they try to come up with their vision is (1) They give up because they can’t see the entire picture of their vision and (2) FEAR and FAILURE. They are afraid that once they commit themselves and write down the vision they might fail.

Let me encourage you to push though these issues. The only failure is not trying – period. Once you start living your vision and see it become reality, a whole new world opens to you and you will never be the same.

“The greatest danger for most of us is not that our aim is too high and we miss it, but that it is too low and we reach it.” – Michelangelo

As you consider your vision, here are 5 components of what makes up a vision. These come from the book, The Leadership Challenge. Keep these in mind as you proceed to the next step.

Discover Your Vision 

A vision pulls people forward. It projects a clear mage of a possible future. It generates the enthusiasm and energy to strive toward the goal.

IDEAL (a high standard to aspire to)

Visions are about hopes, dreams, and aspirations. They’re about making a difference. They tell us the ennobling purpose and greater good we are seeking.

UNIQUE (pride in being different, an identity.)

Visions are about the extraordinary. They are about what makes us distinctive, singular, and unequaled.

IMAGE (a concept or mental picture made real or tangible through descriptive language)

Word pictures, metaphors, examples, stories, symbols, and similar communication methods all help make visions memorable.

FUTURE-ORIENTED (looking toward a destination)

Visions describe an exciting possibility for the future. They stretch our minds out into the future and ask us to dream.

COMMON GOOD (a way people can come together)

Visions are about developing a shared sense of destiny. Leaders must be able to show others how their interests are served and how they are a part of the vision in order to enlist others in it.

What Do I Do?

There’s only 1 thing you need to focus on right now to start the process of discovering your vision – Create a Dream Inventory. Here’s exactly what you do:

  1. Get to a quiet place. You want to take this seriously and stay focused.
  2. Turn off all electronic devices. Your phone, computer, everything. Make sure there are no distractions.
  3. Find some soothing music. If you like the quiet, then fine. But when I’m deeply reflecting I prefer to listen to some form of classical music, preferable Baroque. Play something that helps you to be at peace and creative.
  4. Remember a big part of this is spiritual.
  5. Get out a blank sheet of paper, write “Dream Inventory” at the top, and let you mind go wild and dream. This is a right brain exercise so don’t analyze everything you are writing. What do you want life to look like in 5 or 10 years? What do you want to do? Where do you want to go? Who will you be doing it with? What issue do you want to solve? What kind of freedom do you want to have? The sky is the limit. The key is write without restraint and allow yourself to imagine possibilities and dream with reckless abandon.

Next I’ll tell you what to do with your Dream Inventory. Let me strongly encourage you: DO THIS RIGHT NOW. Refuse to procrastinate! Don’t wait and don’t move on to the next thing. This is the most important thing you could be doing for yourself so take action.

Make a conscious decision to leave the 97% of people who are addicted to mediocrity and part of the cult of average. Step in to the top 3% of people who are living life the way they want to live it and are getting incredible results because they are committed and focused. This is how they do it!

This is the first step to creating a new, focused and meaningful life. A life where you start to see you visions become reality. You do have what it takes and these incredible gifts are already inside you. You just have to get them out.

 

Filed Under: 360, Coaching, Habits, Leadership, Positivity, Rewire Your Brain, Vision

Anyone Can be a Visionary

December 1, 2016 by Tom Davis

It’s the time of year where everyone begins to think about what they want to accomplish in 2017. Better health, more finances, dream jobs, exquisite vacations, and spending meaningful time with family. But we live in a world where most people who think about a better 2017 won’t be able to accomplish what they desire. One of the main reasons for failing is because they don’t see themselves as visionaries. I have wonderful news for you, ANYONE CAN BE A VISIONARY and living that truth is the first step in the direction your success. photo_vision_eye

“The visionary starts with a clean sheet of paper, and re-imagines the world.” ~ Malcolm Gladwell

 

When you think of a visionary what comes to mind? Most people think of CEO’s who lead great companies or iconic leaders and inventors such as George Washington, Steve Jobs, or Anthony Robbins. When we put these kinds of people on pedestals as visionaries, then it’s impossible to see ourselves in that category.

The truth is we’ve all been visionaries in our lives. Think of a time when you had “an idea” about something you dreamed about but it didn’t exist. Maybe it was a degree, a career, a family, a home, a vacation or an article you want to write. And now that dream has become a reality. See, you are a visionary! You just need to start seeing yourself as one. The key to great vision is seeing something we desire in the future and to start making plans for it to become a reality. We have all done it and we can do it again.

One of my favorite visionaries is Thomas Edison. He saw what others didn’t see and had a vision that was so grandiose, others thought he was crazy. Who dreams about creating light out of darkness when light doesn’t exist?! It made no difference to him what others thought. There was an internal compass in his soul that burned in the direction of his vision. He saw the vision and he did small things everyday until that vision became a reality. This is why I wrote an article about the power of being an internally directed person versus and externally driven one. An internally directed person is a visionary and they and 10x more successful in life. [Read more…] about Anyone Can be a Visionary

Filed Under: Coaching, Habits, Leadership, Rewire Your Brain, Vision

1% Change Proves that Results are about Thinking Small not Big

November 16, 2016 by Tom Davis

 

Leadership gurus say to live the kind of life you’ve always dreamed about, you have to make massive changes. THAT’S JUST NOT TRUE. The best way to make personal improvement is to create small wins, or 1% marginal gains. Finding tiny improvement in several areas of your life will yield big results that lead to sustained change and science proves it. photo_dandelion_small_wins

The first time I heard about 1% incremental change was the story about Sir David Brailsford and the British Cycling Team. The team couldn’t produce a rider able to win the Tour De France in its entire history. Brailsford felt that by improving small areas by 1%, Team Sky could produce a British cycler who could win the Tour de France in 5 years. He was wrong. In only 2 ½ years Sir Bradley Wiggins won the Tour de France in 2012 and British riders have won the completion 3 times in the last 4 years. They’ve also accumulated a total of 16 gold medals in the last 2 Olympics.

How Did They Do It?

They made 1% improvements in areas you would think of such as nutrition, aerodynamics of the bike, and comfort of the seat. But what’s incredible about this story is that Brailsford produced 1% gains in areas others didn’t think about. Through research they found a pillow that provided 1% better sleep and traveled with it. They discovered the correct sleeping posture which produced another 1% sleeping gain. Then, someone found a massage gel that worked 1% more effectively, and a sanitizer that was 1% better at killing bacteria and preventing sickness. When you take all of these 1% gains and add them up, they deliver maximized benefits.

The simple idea of marginal gains is this: by making small incremental changes in your life, you can benefit from huge gains over time. The people who have discovered this hidden truth and applied it, are some of the most successful people in the world. You can be too.

The reason most people fail at achieving their goals is because they aren’t able to be consistent over time. They start with big plans and giant goals but they give up way too soon. This is why health clubs are filled with people in January and empty in March.

I learned an incredible truth from Robin Sharma, “Intention is the mother of mastery.” What you do everyday is more important than what you do once a month or once a year. Over time, you experience huge benefits and the compound effect begins to reward you.

Take a look at what you do everyday. Your actions dictate what is most important to you. Sure, you may say that you want to get into shape but when it comes right down to it, the bed is more comfortable than the run and the unhealthy food tastes better than the salad. What you do today is simply your life in miniature. Change your daily decisions and you will change your life.

“Your life does not get better by chance, it gets better by change.” –Jim Rohn

This is exactly why I have created a habit called, “Begin Well, End Well.” What you do the first 5 minutes of the day and the last 5 minutes of the day can create gigantic gains in your life when you stay consistent. Creating the kind of life you desire is a gradual process of improvement rather than knee-jerk, radical changes.

Creating 1% Marginal Gains Immediately

[Read more…] about 1% Change Proves that Results are about Thinking Small not Big

Filed Under: Coaching, Habits, Leadership, Negativity, Positivity, Positivity Course, Rewire Your Brain

Why Negative Thoughts Create Discouragement and a Lack of Motivation

October 25, 2016 by Tom Davis

We are all faced with 1,000’s of opportunities each day to be positive or negative. Sadly, over 80% of people choose negative thoughts over positive ones. This is often responsible for why you feel bad, why you get discouraged, and why you might feel depressed, discouraged and lack motivation. photo_red_love_heart_alone-copy

One of the greatest things I’ve learned in the past few years is that there are chemicals behind my feelings. There are reasons I feel the way I do. Look at them as, “happy chemicals,” and “unhappy chemicals.” They are controlled by simple little thoughts. Studies show that over 80% of these thoughts are negative.

Most people have little concern over these thoughts that go into their brains. They listen to negative people, watch negative news, read negative Facebook feeds, and tell themselves negative stories about their self-worth and abilities. It’s constant. And they wonder why they feel bad?!

Why You Feel Bad

Every one of these negative thoughts releases negative chemicals in our bodies. It’s part of the biological process. One of the main reasons this happens is because of synapses in our brains. This is one of the first things students of neuroscience learn. There is a space between synapses called, “the synaptic cleft.” Think of it as empty space waiting to be filled and waiting to be reinforced.

Here’s how it works. You have a thought, and a chemical shoots across that space. This builds a bridge over that space and releases a chemical in your body. The next time you have a similar thought, it fires again making that connection closer and closer to decrease the distance of the electrical charge. It becomes easier the next time. On a side note, this is also how habits are formed. Soon, you don’t even think about how you actually drive a car because everything is automatic. That electrical charge has occurred so many times, you act without even thinking about it. If you’re a science nerd this is a great video on the topic: Science video.

The Power of Happy Chemicals

Simply put, if you want to build strong, positive habits, then focus on positive things. Hang out with positive people, read positive [Read more…] about Why Negative Thoughts Create Discouragement and a Lack of Motivation

Filed Under: Negativity, Positive Emotions, Positivity, Positivity Course, Rewire Your Brain

Never, Ever Settle for Normal. Unless You’re Driftwood.

October 6, 2016 by Tom Davis

Can I encourage you to never do something? Don’t make peace with the status quo. Ever. And never settle for normal. It will be the death of you and everything you care about. Normal is what everyone wants you to do. Normal is what society forces us to do. Your life is worth extraordinary value, so live that way. Be wild. Do something crazy that creates amazing experiences and builds memories that last a lifetime. You’re unique, you’re gifted, and you may not be able to walk on water but it’s a lot more fun swimming in the Mediterranean than looking at pictures of it. (By the way – that picture is me jumping into the Mediterranean!)img_2891

You are a wonder of creation. Scientists say the very chances of you even existing are about one in 400 trillion. This means that there is no one like you. You are incredibly unique with gifts, talents, and answers for the people on this planet that only you can deliver. You cannot afford to be stuck in a rut.

“Each human being is unique, each with their own qualities, instincts, forms of pleasure, and desire for adventure. However, society always imposes on us a collective ways of behaving, and people never stop to wonder why they should behave like that. They just accept it, the way typists accepted the fact that the QWERTY keyboard was the best possible one. Have you ever met anyone is your entire life who asked why the hands of a clock should go in one particular direction and not the other?” ~ Paulo Cuelho

Deep Change vs. Slow Death

Leadership expert and author Robert Quinn says that we are in one of two places in life, the place of deep change or slow death. We are either changing or shriveling up on the inside.

This is in agreement with the 2nd law of thermodynamics which states that all things lead to entropy – decay and disorder. It’s a natural system. It’s really easy to get stuck. Stuck in our comfort zones, habits, normalcy, negativity and routine. We are either changing or dying, growing or decaying. It takes a strong, willful, and soulful choice to go against the flow and take a leap of faith into the land of the unknown. A phrase I love to describe this is, “Walking naked into the land of uncertainty.” Don’t worry, it’s not literal. Keep your clothes on. 🙂

Moving Our Family to Europe

I’ll preface this by saying that you probably don’t need to move, but you do need to change and do something different. Maybe something really big and completely out of the box. Get out of your comfort zone. Take risk, not simply for the sake of risk but out of the yearning to truly live for what matters most to you.

For my family that meant moving overseas, learning a new language and building an adventurous life filled with a calling, and the things and people we love. We lived in a wonderful community at the foothills of the Rocky Mountains in Colorado. The beauty was indescribable and the weather was my favorite of any place in the world. We were there for 14 years. So many incredible friends and experiences that were simply magical. [Read more…] about Never, Ever Settle for Normal. Unless You’re Driftwood.

Filed Under: Adventure, Coaching, Faith, Family, Positive Emotions, Positivity, Vision

  • Go to page 1
  • Go to page 2
  • Go to page 3
  • Interim pages omitted …
  • Go to page 6
  • Go to Next Page »

Footer

JOIN OUR COMMUNITY OF POSITIVISTS

Tom Davis

ABOUT ME

Dr. Tom Davis - Doctorate in Global Leadership, Author of 5 books, and Chief Positivity Officer on your journey toward getting the absolute most out of life!

TOP POSTS

  • What is the Meaning of Life?
  • 5 Reasons Clarifying Your Values Brings Hope In Crisis
  • 30 Life-Altering Things Positivity Can Do For You

© 2023 Your Positivity Coach, ALL RIGHTS RESERVED