You’re Failing Because of the Negative Coach in Your Brain
Why do you wake up some days and feel inspired, engaged and connected while other days you feel like every ounce of focus and determination has been drained from your body in your sleep? Is it just a mood swing or are their deeper things happening you are not aware of? You may even be listening to a negative coach in your mind you don’t even know exists. I’m going to show you how one simple change can drastically increase your self-belief and motivation levels every single day.
I started studying positivity and negativity after watching many years of youth sports. Here is what I discovered. There are some coaches who are amazing at getting the best out of their teams. They say the right things and motivate their players with purpose and positive affirmations. These types of coaches get incredible performance out of their teams. They win many games they should lose.
Then there are coaches who have very talented teams that should be winning most of their games. But they lose more than they should. Much of the time it’s not because of the talent of the players. It’s because of the negativity of the coach. They yell and say condemning things, and create stress and anxiety in their players. The result? The players shut down, they are unmotivated and even humiliated. Biologically, they can’t optimally perform at this point even if they wanted to.
The Negative Coach in Our Minds
This is very similar to what happens to each of us in life. Too many times, the negative coach in our minds is the predominant voice we hear and it wrecks our ability to stay motivated and engaged.
You need to pay very close attention to this if: (1) You are struggling with your vision and your life call, (2) You find it difficult to stay inspired and motivated (3) You really want to be a better leader, friend, spouse or parent but can’t seem to be consistent with your words and your love for others or (4) You are often fighting negative thoughts and emotions.
We need to get to the bottom of these issues if we want to change. You have to find the root and pull it out. The good news is that if you can change this one thing, you will see up to a 10X growth in many areas of your life.
Everyday We are Bombarded with Words
There are roughly 50,000 words and thoughts that run through your mind every day. Over 80% of them are unconscious and 80% are negative.
Turn on the television and what do you see? Positive or negative? Completely negative news. It is all about this horrible tragedy, this terrible thing, this terrorist attack and we are overloaded and overwhelmed. Negativity sells in our society and we are constantly dealing with negativity flowing through our brains.
This has tremendous impact on us at a biological level. Here is what I mean. When somebody says something negative to you such as, “You idiot,” “Stop being lazy,” or “Are you stupid?” it releases a set of neurotransmitters in our brain that literally cause our emotions to shut down. One of the worst is cortisol. Cortisol is the stress-induced hormone that can cause anxiety, weight gain and eventually lead to heart attacks according to the Mayo Clinic.
Think about how you start your day. You wake up in the morning and want to do something you feel passionate about. But soon, you start thinking about the negative. All the things that aren’t going right for you in life, how you didn’t have this or that opportunity and suddenly you send your brain signals that release these negative neurotransmitters. Suddenly you are unmotivated and you believe you have little chance at a productive day.
Or maybe the negative coach in your brain kicks in first thing. “You always say your going to do something but you never follow through.” “You will never be able to accomplish the success you desire in your heart. It happens for others, but it will never happen for you.” These negative words have incredible impact and they cause us to stop pursuing our dreams and becoming the people we desperately want to be.
The Positive Difference
On the flip side, let’s look at what happens when you speak and think positively. Just like the positive coach, if you speak positively to yourself or to others it changes everything inside your brain. “Hey, I believe in you, “I know that whatever you are putting your mind to that you can accomplish,” “Let me encourage you, I see X, Y and Z in your life and it is incredibly powerful to watch you move in your gifts.”
Those positive statements release a different set of neurotransmitters that are good for you. “Happy chemicals,” like oxytocin, serotonin, dopamine, these are things that help you feel motivated, inspired, happy and confident. It’s impossible to be creative, inspired, joyful and focused without them. They are a life-line to positive emotions flowing in your life.
What Can you Do Differently?
- I’ve created something I call a PQ360 Positivity Leadership Assessment. It’s easy and online. You can take this profile yourself and invite others to score you on your levels of Positive thoughts. It’s not about good or bad, but frequency. How often are you positive? You will know the areas you need to change and be able to do so immediately. Check it out here and email if you’re interested: PQ360.
- Refuse to make peace with negative thoughts. They are a poison. Most of us are simply unaware. Pay special attention to the words you are verbally speaking and speaking to yourself. When negative thoughts occur, stop them immediately and replace them with positive ones. Become a master at this.
- Write down the vision of the positive person you want to be and why. Keep it in front of you and read it out loud every day. It will help you rewire your brain and you will be teaching yourself what to focus on.
- Physiological – if you’re feeling terrible get really hot or really cold. Take an ice bath or hop in very cold shower. You can also do intense exercise and sweat like crazy. Get the blood flowing! Either of these will help to put you in a completely different mood within seconds.
- Read this post, “You Can’t Change Because You Won’t Change,” and master the (3) strategies at the end of the post.
It’s not hard to teach yourself to have a positive mindset. Most people just don’t take the time to do it. The default is negativity and it will always win if left alone so don’t let a negative coach in your brain! Once one potato begins to rot, it will rot the entire bag. Focus on positivity every day and you will feel more inspired, more connected, motivated and happy. Don’t leave your life to change. Be a proactive and act. Do it now! Massive action creates massive results!
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