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What is the Meaning of Life?

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One of the most important questions we will ever answer is, “What is the Meaning of Life?” Not just life in general, but my life, your life. Why are we here? And why does it matter anyway? 

Before I can tell my life what I want to do with it, I need to listen to my life to tell me who I am.” ~ Parker J. Palmer

I will not pretend to think I can answer that question in a short blog, but if that question is burning in you, here’s the question you need to focus on answering, “What is the purpose of my life?” This is the first step to find your meaning. Not the other way around. 

Your purpose is an intersection of three things: 

1. What you are naturally good at – or your talents.

2. Your affections or your passions – what you love to do.

3. Finding your gifts in Flow – discovering what you do when you feel the most fulfilled without any concern of what title you have, what business you own or how much money you make. This is what you do when you are “purely you” without the labels, messages, or values that we, or others, place on us. It’s also connected to how you serve others in ways that bring hope, love, and value into the world. 

Knowing and understanding your purpose helps guide you into a prosperous future. It also makes the relationships around you deeper. You laugh louder and you love better. You will have a clearer idea about what to focus on in life and where to invest your time. In turn, this brings a tremendous amount of meaning to your life and – step by step – you gain more understanding about the meaning of life.    

Positive Psychology focuses on the elements people need in life to flourish – or to be their very best. One of the key factors in positive psychology is something called, “Well-being Theory,” which is the scientific theory of happiness. One of the 5 building blocks is Meaning. Meaning is defined in someone’s life by 3 things:  

• A well-lived life. When you have a sense of purpose, it helps you clarify meaning and you live with increased life satisfaction and better health.    

• Resilience. Meaning and purpose help you to bounce back after crisis or difficulty. This is particularly helpful after COVID-19. You are better able to overcome challenges and greatly increase your personal growth after facing adversity.

• The work you choose is done with more interest and increased engagement. Why? Because you feel like you are about something bigger than yourself. You have more meaning because there is a greater purpose.  I have a simple 4 step process that I would like to provide to you at no cost. This process will walk you through how to create a transformational life purpose statement. If you would like a copy please email me, Dr. Tom Davis – tom@leaderselevate.com

30 Life-Altering Things Positivity Can Do For You

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As a coach to Executives and CEO’s I’m often asked this question, “What’s the one thing I can do to immediately get better results in my life?” The answer is to increase your levels of positivity. Positive people, “flourish,” while negative people, “flounder.”

The research is filled with incredible results that occur almost instantaneously. One of the best is called, The Broaden and Build Theory of Positive Emotions and you can see it here. It’s maintaining a positive mindset that’s the harder work. That takes life change and learning to build better habits.

3-1 RATIO

It’s maintaining a positive mindset that’s the harder work. That takes life change and learning to build better habits. Studies have shown that it takes 3 positive inputs to replace 1 negative one. Unless you’re married then it takes 6 positives to 1 negative! 🙂

Positivity isn’t just about being happy. It’s about building incredible people skills, focusing on the life-events that really matter to you, learning to enjoy meaningful daily events, and creating real value in your life. Most of this research comes from the books, Positivity by Barbara Fredrickson, Flourish by Martin Seligman, and Grit by Angela Duckworth,

  1. Opens your mind
  2. Builds deeper relationships
  3. Encourages creativity
  4. You live longer
  5. Releases Joy
  6. Creates Openness
  7. Causes you to be more thoughtful
  8. Brings peace
  9. Cultivates gratitude
  10. Makes you resilient
  11. Helps you grow
  12. Promotes a healthy self-image
  13. Helps you to be more connected to your friends and family
  14. Increases trust
  15. Promotes physical health
  16. Helps you achieve your goals
  17. Causes you to dream more
  18. Invigorates Hope
  19. Develops stronger relationships at work
  20. Helps you get promotions faster
  21. Makes you a better athlete
  22. Recharges your energy and vitality
  23. Frees you from the effects of depression
  24. Makes people want to be around you more often
  25. Reduces stress
  26. Eliminates anxiety
  27. Helps the vision you have for your life become clearer
  28. Become a wiser person
  29. Helps you break bad habits
  30. You will enjoy every minute, of every day, with deeper appreciation

How To Escape the Trap of Survival Mode

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If you learn this one simple truth, you will move from Survival mode to “Thrival” mode. Survival mode will be something in your past, not your present or your future. You can finally start living your life the way you’ve always wanted but just didn’t have the tools to change. The secret to changing from Survival mode to “Thrival” mode is found in understanding your brain and the incredible power of small decisions. 

What Is Survival Mode?

For most of my life I’ve lived in survival mode and I never understood why. I felt like most people were against me and not for me. The only time they were for me is when they wanted something from me. And inevitably, someone would screw me over and my greatest fears would be confirmed. Then, the cycle would repeat itself.

Relationships weren’t the only areas where survival mode flourished. I was in survival mode in my job, with investments, and with my wife and children. I feared there wouldn’t be enough money to pay the bills, not enough time to spend together, at the end of the day I didn’t do enough to get my work done. There was never enough. I was always short-changed. In fact, if I was honest, I felt like I wasn’t enough and might never be.

BUT WHY WAS THIS HAPPENING?!

I finally discovered the truth: Our brains aren’t built to help us be happy or fulfilled, they are built to help us SURVIVE. That skill may work great for a hunter-gatherer, but it wasn’t helping me in the here and now.

The Two Parts of Your Brain

There are two parts to your brain: First, is the flight or fight response. The second is the part of the brain which understands how to help you THRIVE. It happens when you feel love, joy, connection, inspiration, hope, peace, or wonder.

No one enjoys feeling angry, stressed, frustrated, self-pity, fear, and a host of other negative emotions. But we’ve all learned to live with them. In fact, we’ve lived with them so long that when negativity isn’t a part of our lives, we feel like something is wrong. So, we go right back into flight or flight mode and the cycle continues creating more fear, stress, and anxiety.

Whenever we feel any kind of pain or emotional distress – whether it’s self-pity, for example, or guilt, or shame – we’re thrown, operationally, into a state of survival mode according to a Psychology Today article.

“Most people live this way since it’s the path of least resistance. They make unconscious decisions, based on habit and conditioning, and are at the mercy of their own minds. They assume that it’s just an inevitable part of life to get frustrated, stressed, sad, and angry—in other words, to live in a suffering state.” – Tony Robbins

So how do we CHANGE?

It’s time to kick Survival Mode out of 0ur lives and it comes down to taking control and making 4 different decisions:

  1. Commit that you will choose to be happy no matter what happens to you. This means that no matter the circumstance, you will choose to find the good in it. You will change your focus from fear and suffering to hope and prosperity. This means you will commit to enjoying life even when things don’t go your way. You have to become a master of spinning negativity into positivity.
  1. Fill your life with POSITIVITY not negativity. This has been a huge game changer for me. Did you know that 80% of the information you take in everyday is negative? This fuels the survival mode of your brain. It tells you there is a threat around every corner. There’s suspicion in every relationship and conspiracy in every decision you don’t like. DON’T GIVE NEGATIVITY POWER. Make a commitment to not let any negativity into your brain. Inevitably some will sneak in, but being vigilant and focused on positivity with immediately change how you feel and how you see the world.
  1. Make a MASSIVE investment in yourself. Start living a proactive life focused on being happy, positive, and the best version of yourself. Buy motivating books, enroll in an inspiring leadership course, get into a mastermind group. Set your focus on learning and growing in the areas that help you move to a place of health. Don’t settle for being a reactive, passive, negative human being. You have every resource within yourself to begin making change now.
  1. Remove yourself from toxic people and toxic environments. Sometimes we just need to learn how to put an end to things in our life that need to die. Reduce or eliminate your time from people that make you feel worse when you’re around them. If your stuck in a rut, you may need to make a massive change. Move across town, change the city you live in, or find different social circles.

Survival mode is only a temporary way of life. You arrived there because of specific decisions you have made that got you there and kept you there.

Thrival mode is about creating a thriving lifestyle filled with the positive things you want in life. They don’t come by accident, they come by intentions. As you begin to implement these simple changes, life moves out of the black and white into a beautiful explosion of color that changes who you are and what you see.

“Drop all the doubt, worry, stress, and anxiety that has been causing you to lose sleep at night. Decide to life your life looking forward, no backwards.” ~ Les Brown