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5 Reasons Clarifying Your Values Brings Hope In Crisis

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The least of things with a meaning is worth more in life than the greatest of things without it. ~ Carl Jung

Whether you are a coach, a parent, a CEO, an entrepreneur, or a young person searching for direction; getting clear on what matters most will help you thrive.

Values are the reason we wake up in the morning. It’s why we work, why we play, and what we dream about. Our core values contain the most important words in our lives. In the end, these are the words we want to be remembered by. They are why we do what we do and they provide direction for every major decision we make.

According to The Leadership Challenge, our values are our voice. If we don’t know our voice, neither will anyone else and we lose credibility. Our identity will be wobbly. We won’t know what to stand for in life and when times are difficult, we will lose our way.

There are 5 Life-Changing reasons you should know your values:

#1. If you don’t know your values, purpose will elude you

In his book, Start with Why, Simon Sinek popularized the idea that people don’t care about what you do, they care about why you do it. I take that a step further and say, “You don’t care about what you do, you care about why you do it.”

It’s not the job that motivates us. It’s not even the money. It’s why we are doing it. Knowing personal values brings meaning and significance to who we are. It clarifies our core purpose in what we are doing with our lives.

For example, if you believe in and value “equality” you will hear an alarm go off when someone makes fun of someone else or treats them poorly. Why? Because their behavior has stepped over the line of something you strongly believe in. When you are clear on this value, you now know why you must speak up. It isn’t random. Values strengthen your backbone.

#2 If you don’t know your values, you don’t know how to make top decisions.

Here is a proven leadership principle: “Every time you say yes to one thing, you are saying no to another.” The sad fact is that because most people aren’t clear about what is most important to them, they often say yes to the wrong things.

There is an important study by researcher David Creswell who discovered that college students experiencing high stress were better at reducing stress and solving problems while under time pressure if they wrote down a sentence or two about their most important values. When students were clear about their values, they were able to make better decisions, but it also proved to be a protective factor against the harmful effects of excessive stress. We can all benefit from less stress!

#3 Living your values creates a values-driven life. You get what you invest in.

Values are used as a tool that helps us navigate life. If we are consistently thinking about our values and how to live into them more – we will create a values driven live. But for many people that doesn’t happen. I was one of those people. I had a vague sense but I was scattered and unclear.

A number of years ago as a CEO of an international non-profit organization I found myself in a place of stress, anxiety and frankly not enjoying the work I use to be so passionate about. What had happened to me?

Without realizing it, my work was creating a values collision.

You see, I was traveling 200 days a year and I was violating a core value. A value I knew I had but I unwittingly put on the back-burner. This was unsustainable.

The anxiety caught up with me big time.

FAMILY is one of my core values and I was violating that value as I was out ‘saving the world’. I was doing really good and important work but mostly ignoring the needs of my family. That’s hard to admit but it is true.

Becoming clear about my values also helped me to create alignment and integrity in my life. It helped me to close the gap between who I said I wanted to be, (the image I projected to the world) and who I really am.

I imperfectly but faithfully made the necessary changes to focus on the most important things, and my life has been filled with more peace, meaning and significance.

#4 Values create resilience so you have the willpower to follow through on your goals.

Resilience is the ability to bounce back after adversity. When times are hard, or when people experience failure, the higher their level of resilience, the faster they are able to recover. In the middle of COVID-19, leaders who are more resilient will get back on their feet faster and create more success than those who are less resilient. Our values help cultivate resilience because we are clear about what matters.

What research has shown is that when we are consciously connected with our most important, heartfelt values, it can be a buffer from psychological stress. Conscious awareness of our values can keep our brain from producing overwhelming amounts of cortisol – the stress hormone that keeps us from being able to think clearly.

#5 Clarifying Values helps you create a VISION that changes the direction of your life.

According to Jim Kouzes and Barry Posner, less than 3% of executive leaders spend their time focusing on vision. I have coached thousands of leaders around the world and all of them would agree that having a vision for their life is one of the most important things you will ever create.

Yet almost NONE of them can produce a personal vision.

Vision gives clarity for where you are going in the future and this helps you know what to focus on in the present. It helps us know what REALLY matters.

Values tell us why we care about vision in the first place. However, lack of vision keeps us living a life filled with busyness, but not fulfillment and prevents us from achieving meaningful success and significance.

Pete Carroll in his autobiography, Win Forever, says;

“Personally, I have learned that if you create a vision for yourself and stick with it, you can make amazing things happen in your life. My experience is that once you have done the work to create the clear vision, it is the discipline and effort to maintain that vision that can make it all come true. The two go hand in hand. The moment you’ve created that vision, you’re on your way, but it’s the diligence with which you stick to that vision that allows you to get there.”

Knowing and living our personal values is a game changer. It helps us hold our heads high and walk through life with confidence knowing who we and this clarity directs our goals and visions. The clear understanding of our values sets us free from aimlessness and empowers us to live the kind of life we are uniquely meant to live and in turn, fulfill our purpose.

Stop Short Changing Yourself and Create a Meaningful Life

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I’m wondering if you’re like many people I speak with who don’t have the kind of life they really want? What does it take to create a meaningful life? How do you focus on doing things that are important and meaningful to you?

According to a recent survey, only 33% of Americans feel happy, content and satisfied. I’m sure results are similar in Canada, Europe and other parts of the world.

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People feel trapped inside jobs they don’t like, too much time is spent on things they don’t care about, they aren’t living for what matters most, and they have almost lost hope that it will ever be any different. In short, they’ve thrown in the towel and have come to terms with being a ‘spoke in the wheel.’

Have you ever felt this way? First, I understand those thoughts can seem very real. But they are what I call, “victim speak.” Saying these kinds of words over and over is what gives negativity power in your life and makes you feel discouraged and hopeless. Victim speak occurs whenever you believe that someone or something is responsible for your unhappy state of affairs. For example, “I’m stuck in this awful job because I can’t get anyone else to hire me,” or, “I can never get ahead because I can barely bring in enough money to pay my bills,” “I can’t succeed because of the bad economy.”

There’s only 1 way to defeat this kind of negativity. Take your power back! Whenever you allow these thoughts into your mind, you give them power over your life and circumstances. Power to control what you think and who you are becoming. Taking your power back is acknowledging that although you may feel this way now, your have the power to reject those statements and do something IN THE PRESENT to create a more meaningful life. The kind of life that matters most to you.

Here are 5 things I’ve learned from the most successful people I know on how to create change NOW and have more meaning in your life:

(1) Cast a HUGE vision for your life and do 1 thing everyday that gets you closer to it. [Read more…] about Stop Short Changing Yourself and Create a Meaningful Life

4 Things I’ve Learned Without a CAR for 1 Year

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IMG_1619 copy2As a family we did one of the craziest things on the planet 1 year ago. We moved our family to Barcelona, Spain. It’s truly been the greatest adventure of our lives! Because we chose to live in the center of the city, we also decided to depend solely on public transportation. That means no car after 20 years of marriage!
Now, let me assure you this has its ups and downs. There were a number of reasons we decided to do this. One, we had a limited amount of money and we didn’t want to spend it on a car. So, survival! We had no idea how long we would be here and this seemed like the right thing to do.

Two, we live right in the center of the city. Parking is a nightmare and so is driving. This is an old city so there are a ton of one-way streets everywhere you go. We chose simplicity over convenience.

Now, by no means am I saying you should give up your car. And, I’m not writing a book about, “Being free from the tyranny of driving and car payments.” I just thought it would interest you to know what we’ve learned and how this has changed us. In the process, maybe the things we’ve learned could make a difference in your life too.

  1. Your Health Gets WAY Better

In the U.S. I barely walked anywhere. We drove our cars (5 of them) from the garage to work, practice, and life. We always looked for the nearest parking spot at Coscto and Walmart. We were trying to cut out walking every chance we could get!

Without a car, we average 6-7 miles of walking per day. What a perk! I’m in the best shape of my life thanks to not having a car. I’ll obviously need a car again, but walking is one new habit I will take with me wherever I live.

  1. It’s A Good Thing to Depend on Others

 I am fiercely independent by nature. I’ve had to be while growing up an only child from a broken home who lived in a new town almost every year. As an adult I learned that depending on people is risky. They will let you down, stab you in the back, lie, cheat and steal. I’m guilty of doing that to others in my weakness as well.

All these reasons lead me to believe that you cannot really rely on other people. Until you don’t have a car. In a foreign land where we had very few relationships, we were forced to rely on the kindness of strangers.

You know what I learned? There are many people who are more than willing to go out of their way to help when you ask. They are gracious and loving and that realization has changed me. It’s shown me that it’s ok to ask for help. In fact we need to ask for help sometimes because we need each other. No one is an island.

  1. Your Connection with Your Family Deepens

Without a car, our family has had more time together. We take public transport and walk the kids to their practices. Yes, sometimes this takes 40 minutes one way, but we have had some of the best interactions and conversations we’ve had in years. IMG_8678 copy

There is no replacement for quality time with the people you love. We’ve learned to slow down, enjoy being with each other and we’ve made the most of our very long walks together.

  1. You Have More Peace

I don’t think I’d realized what a nut I’d become. Getting in my car to rush to this thing, talking on the phone the whole way there, and stressed out about my car payments. And then there was trying to sell cars that cost me money to get rid of. Ugh!

I was caught in the consumerism that raised me and I was steeped in the stress it brought to my life. I was disconnected. I wasn’t engaged as I should have been with my friends and family and I was shriveling up on the inside. I was becoming less of myself not more of who I wanted to be.

Getting rid of some ‘stuff,’ including my cars, has helped me re-center my life on what really matters. I’m able to enjoy the blessings God has brought to me and fall in love again with the people who are around me.

Not having a car this past year hasn’t been a burden, it’s been a gift. I’ve learned to live for the people and the values that really matter and I think I’ve added a few extra years to my life!

Most of you have cars, and you should! But perhaps you can apply some of these lessons in your life, right where it is. My hope is that you will take a deep breath, be fully engaged and completely present in the lives of those you love and care about, and you will be free to live for the things that matter most to you deep inside. You really can discover new freedoms when you do unconventional things.