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5 Reasons Clarifying Your Values Brings Hope In Crisis

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The least of things with a meaning is worth more in life than the greatest of things without it. ~ Carl Jung

Whether you are a coach, a parent, a CEO, an entrepreneur, or a young person searching for direction; getting clear on what matters most will help you thrive.

Values are the reason we wake up in the morning. It’s why we work, why we play, and what we dream about. Our core values contain the most important words in our lives. In the end, these are the words we want to be remembered by. They are why we do what we do and they provide direction for every major decision we make.

According to The Leadership Challenge, our values are our voice. If we don’t know our voice, neither will anyone else and we lose credibility. Our identity will be wobbly. We won’t know what to stand for in life and when times are difficult, we will lose our way.

There are 5 Life-Changing reasons you should know your values:

#1. If you don’t know your values, purpose will elude you

In his book, Start with Why, Simon Sinek popularized the idea that people don’t care about what you do, they care about why you do it. I take that a step further and say, “You don’t care about what you do, you care about why you do it.”

It’s not the job that motivates us. It’s not even the money. It’s why we are doing it. Knowing personal values brings meaning and significance to who we are. It clarifies our core purpose in what we are doing with our lives.

For example, if you believe in and value “equality” you will hear an alarm go off when someone makes fun of someone else or treats them poorly. Why? Because their behavior has stepped over the line of something you strongly believe in. When you are clear on this value, you now know why you must speak up. It isn’t random. Values strengthen your backbone.

#2 If you don’t know your values, you don’t know how to make top decisions.

Here is a proven leadership principle: “Every time you say yes to one thing, you are saying no to another.” The sad fact is that because most people aren’t clear about what is most important to them, they often say yes to the wrong things.

There is an important study by researcher David Creswell who discovered that college students experiencing high stress were better at reducing stress and solving problems while under time pressure if they wrote down a sentence or two about their most important values. When students were clear about their values, they were able to make better decisions, but it also proved to be a protective factor against the harmful effects of excessive stress. We can all benefit from less stress!

#3 Living your values creates a values-driven life. You get what you invest in.

Values are used as a tool that helps us navigate life. If we are consistently thinking about our values and how to live into them more – we will create a values driven live. But for many people that doesn’t happen. I was one of those people. I had a vague sense but I was scattered and unclear.

A number of years ago as a CEO of an international non-profit organization I found myself in a place of stress, anxiety and frankly not enjoying the work I use to be so passionate about. What had happened to me?

Without realizing it, my work was creating a values collision.

You see, I was traveling 200 days a year and I was violating a core value. A value I knew I had but I unwittingly put on the back-burner. This was unsustainable.

The anxiety caught up with me big time.

FAMILY is one of my core values and I was violating that value as I was out ‘saving the world’. I was doing really good and important work but mostly ignoring the needs of my family. That’s hard to admit but it is true.

Becoming clear about my values also helped me to create alignment and integrity in my life. It helped me to close the gap between who I said I wanted to be, (the image I projected to the world) and who I really am.

I imperfectly but faithfully made the necessary changes to focus on the most important things, and my life has been filled with more peace, meaning and significance.

#4 Values create resilience so you have the willpower to follow through on your goals.

Resilience is the ability to bounce back after adversity. When times are hard, or when people experience failure, the higher their level of resilience, the faster they are able to recover. In the middle of COVID-19, leaders who are more resilient will get back on their feet faster and create more success than those who are less resilient. Our values help cultivate resilience because we are clear about what matters.

What research has shown is that when we are consciously connected with our most important, heartfelt values, it can be a buffer from psychological stress. Conscious awareness of our values can keep our brain from producing overwhelming amounts of cortisol – the stress hormone that keeps us from being able to think clearly.

#5 Clarifying Values helps you create a VISION that changes the direction of your life.

According to Jim Kouzes and Barry Posner, less than 3% of executive leaders spend their time focusing on vision. I have coached thousands of leaders around the world and all of them would agree that having a vision for their life is one of the most important things you will ever create.

Yet almost NONE of them can produce a personal vision.

Vision gives clarity for where you are going in the future and this helps you know what to focus on in the present. It helps us know what REALLY matters.

Values tell us why we care about vision in the first place. However, lack of vision keeps us living a life filled with busyness, but not fulfillment and prevents us from achieving meaningful success and significance.

Pete Carroll in his autobiography, Win Forever, says;

“Personally, I have learned that if you create a vision for yourself and stick with it, you can make amazing things happen in your life. My experience is that once you have done the work to create the clear vision, it is the discipline and effort to maintain that vision that can make it all come true. The two go hand in hand. The moment you’ve created that vision, you’re on your way, but it’s the diligence with which you stick to that vision that allows you to get there.”

Knowing and living our personal values is a game changer. It helps us hold our heads high and walk through life with confidence knowing who we and this clarity directs our goals and visions. The clear understanding of our values sets us free from aimlessness and empowers us to live the kind of life we are uniquely meant to live and in turn, fulfill our purpose.

Stop Short Changing Yourself and Create a Meaningful Life

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I’m wondering if you’re like many people I speak with who don’t have the kind of life they really want? What does it take to create a meaningful life? How do you focus on doing things that are important and meaningful to you?

According to a recent survey, only 33% of Americans feel happy, content and satisfied. I’m sure results are similar in Canada, Europe and other parts of the world.

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People feel trapped inside jobs they don’t like, too much time is spent on things they don’t care about, they aren’t living for what matters most, and they have almost lost hope that it will ever be any different. In short, they’ve thrown in the towel and have come to terms with being a ‘spoke in the wheel.’

Have you ever felt this way? First, I understand those thoughts can seem very real. But they are what I call, “victim speak.” Saying these kinds of words over and over is what gives negativity power in your life and makes you feel discouraged and hopeless. Victim speak occurs whenever you believe that someone or something is responsible for your unhappy state of affairs. For example, “I’m stuck in this awful job because I can’t get anyone else to hire me,” or, “I can never get ahead because I can barely bring in enough money to pay my bills,” “I can’t succeed because of the bad economy.”

There’s only 1 way to defeat this kind of negativity. Take your power back! Whenever you allow these thoughts into your mind, you give them power over your life and circumstances. Power to control what you think and who you are becoming. Taking your power back is acknowledging that although you may feel this way now, your have the power to reject those statements and do something IN THE PRESENT to create a more meaningful life. The kind of life that matters most to you.

Here are 5 things I’ve learned from the most successful people I know on how to create change NOW and have more meaning in your life:

(1) Cast a HUGE vision for your life and do 1 thing everyday that gets you closer to it. [Read more…] about Stop Short Changing Yourself and Create a Meaningful Life

Your Character Matters More than Your Success

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This post is not a, “How to,” it’s a, “How to Be.” What’s happening inside of you, your character, is more important than anything else you can pursue. Success doesn’t matter if you put your character on the back burner. The news is filled with stories of leaders who have ‘gained the world’ but have failed miserably in that department. photo_family_beach copy

Here’s an example of what I mean. Many people on the internet are looking for legitimate ways to “change their lives,” and that’s a noble pursuit. What do you typically see? People writing about, “How to Make More Money,” “How to Build Bigger Email Lists,” or “How to Have the Job of Your Dreams as a Writer,” etc.

I’m not at all criticizing those programs. There are many great ones out there. But they are missing something very critical to a successful life and it’s this: It’s not what you do, or what you accumulate that matters, It’s who you are becoming.

It doesn’t matter if I have all of the money and influence in the world if I’m not living for the things that matter most to me. If I’m not becoming a better person, a better father, a better husband and more inspirational leader, my pursuits will eventually turn up empty. I’ve failed in these areas before in my life and it was painful.

The Internal vs. the External

As I’ve coached a number of CEO’s over the years, many find themselves internally bankrupt. They’ve achieved high levels of success but when they climbed to the top, there was nothing there. They lived their lives for EXTERNAL things (money, fame, power, control) and did little to focus on the INTERNAL things, (purpose, meaning, values, vision). It’s a common mistake on the road to success.

“What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Please listen carefully to me, the way to achieve REAL success in life, is to spend serious time building your character and crafting what’s on the inside.

An externally driven person focuses on ego and the things that need to be acquired to satiate their ego. It’s all about what they can do to get their needs met. Whether they like it or not, these leaders often see others as a means to an end.  [Read more…] about Your Character Matters More than Your Success